Ah, the joys of aging gracefully with a side dish of Alzheimer's. My mom, the legendary Malka, battled Alzheimer's like a champ before exiting stage left in 2019 at a sprightly 78.  She was the most beautiful, caring, kind mother and the funniest person I ever knew. She conquered raising us three headstrong kiddos; a 35-year marriage; watching her husband, parents, and best friends all pass before her; and 35 years of working hard to survive and make a home for herself and her family. Talk about a full-time job.   

 

My grandmother (my Bubby), Rachel, also passed away from Alzheimer's when she was 91 years old.  I was living abroad during the decade she had Alzheimer's and she passed away in 2005 the day after my wedding.  

 

Alzheimer's is a no-win situation. For those who have the means to take a parent into their home and care for him or her, I not only applaud you, I empathize with the physical, mental, and emotional aspects of your suffering as well.  Being a full-time caretaker is one of the most underrated, unthankful, exhausting jobs in the world. For those who are not able, I empathize with the anxiety, denial, guilt, shame, and sadness of your suffering; having to place a parent in someone else's care is the hardest decision for a child to make.   

 

I know there are worse diseases, horrible losses in numerable ways, but this is my story, my view of Alzheimer's. I know we are lucky my mom still recognized us til the end. We were thankful she could still laugh and enjoy her life, most of the time. We could also see her trapped in her own mind, unable to put all the pieces together or coherently make a simple thought come out right. I know she was frustrated when she didn't know what was happening to her, and I saw a shell of a beautiful woman who surely did nothing to deserve this sentence. Watching mom fade away was like witnessing a masterpiece being erased by a toddler with a crayon. Heart-wrenching doesn't even begin to cover it.   

 

So here’s the deal: Seize the moments you have with your parents. Say what's in your heart, tell them you love them every chance you get. You never know when it'll be the last time they can repeat the same or recognize who you are to them. Carpe diem, people. Carpe freaking diem.